Very Frustrated

I don't know what I am doing wrong. I can't seem to get further than 176.6 and today i am weighing 177.2. It doesn't make sense because i worked out and did a lot of cardio and burned about 500 calories, plus i walked around the mall for 1 hour. So what the hay is going on?

I can't possibly see that it's something i am doing, i have worked out all week and broken good sweats. I only went to the gym once, but my video work out gets me going more than the gym and I haven't been wanting to get sick again, although it seems like it will happen anyways.

I feel like i did when I was 187, i got a taste of 185, then i couldn't shake it. I refuse to let that be this time. IDK what i have to do to get to 175 by Wednesday.

Just frustrated.

I don't think I am going to make it to my goal...

I am just so worried. I know it doesn't matter, i've come a long way, but it seems like I am getting lazy and I just can't get the drive back. I don't know if it's AF coming soon, if it's complacency in the fact that i made it to the 170's. I refused to gain any weight. I haven't eaten poorly but of course i've had a mild fluctuation in weight and of course it was after I had done a good weight lifting session. Then I finally got Jillian Michael's new dvd's and i tried the first one. I need a day off but I am almost too obsessed now to where i don't even feel right giving myself a break.

I am giving myself a break, but I am on pins and needles. One side of me knows even if i am not 175 by the time Dion comes home i'll be close enough and I've come sooo soo far. The other part of me is afraid that I am just fooling myself or I'll gain weight somehow.

I need to just breath and relax and enjoy the new me. I'll try.

Another pound lost...

So this morning i was 177.4. Good news as I am even closer to my mini goal of 175. I need to invest in more sleep and less staying up. I am finally over my cold, my children seem okay except the oldest. Now she is showing signs. It's like this cold lingers and then hits you.

I guess I am going to the gym tomorrow. I really wish i had a heart rate monitor so i knew if I was burning the amount I list or not.

anyhow short but sweet.

Day two....

Okay so today I slept a lot because I stayed up late with Dion on the internet webcamming and chatting away. It was really nice to have a long conversation and laugh and joke and all of that even though he's far away.

I took in about 1500 calories today and did the 30 day shred, so this is day two of the start over. My legs and butt are a bit sore, i love it though. I am also doing a couple challenges on our WL board, getting in 35 full form push ups or more, and I had to do 2 consecutive minutes of cardio.

My cold is almost fully gone, by tomorrow i may not even show any signs, which is good. Jaylon is still battling a runny nose, so hopefully we get that under control by the morning.

As of tonight I am weighing in another record low of 179.2 and this morning i weighed 178.4, so hopefully i stick with it. I don't want to starve myself though. I am keeping a good calorie deficit but sometimes at this time of night my body acts like it's hungry which i don't understand seeing as though i've had massive deficits before and I ate pretty well today. It could be all in my mind. I'll keep track of it. Hopefully I am not burning more doing the 30 day shred than what I am thinking.

Well I ordered 2 new videos for Jillian Michael's. The fat metabolizer one and the no more trouble zones. I don't know what I am getting myself into! Now i wish i didn't have a gym membership sometimes lol.

Start over...

Okay, not a full start over, but just in my attitude perhaps.

I realized today after this new day that I am not 5'4 and some change. I am 5'3 and 1/4. This makes a big difference in my calorie intake and everything. I will see if my lower caloric intake range will suffice and make me more successful. I have yet to lose 2 lbs in a week, it's always 1.5 or less. Not bad, but with my goal of 175 nearing and nearing and me staying at 179.8, I really don't want any flops. It's not that it will matter overall, but I just want to make this goal. I didn't make the goal i set last time for my hubby's arrival. I want this to be different.

I started the 30 day shred today. I am doing it all over. I am starting on level 1 and i will do it for 8-10 days. Then i will do level 2. I need to learn how to push through the grueling workouts on dvd as well as I do it at the gym. I mean, for me to even run on a treadmill is amazing, not just 1 minute but for long periods of time, so I should be able to take the same pain at home and not give up.

I am not sure if i am really any lighter than 179 because I have been retaining water. I have been sick over the weekend with a pretty bad head cold and I had been eating soup and all that jazz, so I am sure i took in a LOT of sodium. I did manage to maintain a decent calorie range, but I did not work out much at all, well I didn't. I did get in a good bike ride on Friday night, but Sat and Sun were a miss. I woke up this morning (well according to the time it'd be yesterday morning) with my rings making an indention in my finger. That never happens. My rings actually are almost a little big and for them to make an indention would mean I was decently swollen. So I am hoping to shed some of this water weight and see a new number on that scale.

I did do the 30 day shred earlier than usual. The boys took a late nap and since I had been napping all day, I was able to have a little energy to do the work out. I must do it when I get the urge or else I am not sure if I'll feel up to it later, especially not knowing how my cold was going to act later.

My measurements seem to be on point and all, and of course my body fat is a little higher than i'd like due to having to change my height on the little handheld machinery. I will be able to gage my true % in the morning before breakfast.

My number one challenge with my food is to find foods that I am supposed to eat, but those that don't contain so much sodium.

This week my goal is to consume up to 1400 calories. It all depends on how much working out i do. I am trying to see if my hubby got me a HRM so I can calculate how much i am really burning on my bike or during 30 DS. If he didn't that'll be one of the last things i invest in for now cause it's really going to help me see if i need to eat a little more or less etc..

Anyways, that's all for now...

ciao!

Tomorrow is another weigh in

Well just for the JM forum. Every other Monday I weigh in for the BL at the gym. This morning i was 179.6, .2 lbs lighter than usual. I did have a bout with water retention due to my weekend splurges. I am going to have a busy day tomorrow. I am hosting a sleepover for Jayda and 4 of her friends. I have to finish cleaning and prepare whatever it is we are going to have at the party, including snacks, drinks and some spa products so they can be 'girly girls'.

I have 20 days left until Dion comes home and I have 4 lbs to lose basically. I know i can do it, but it's the unknown that drives me nuts. If you haven't realized by now, i am impatient! The fact that I am in the 170''s thrills me, but i don't want to get complacent like i did when i got into the 180's and then stopped for months. I want to continue going full on at least until i reach the 160's (which i haven't seen since the beginning of my pregnancy with Jaylon. I won't stop there but i will be more relaxed.

I hope to see another number on the scale like 178.8. For some reason my weight always ends in .8 lol.

I am coming down with a stubborn cold, it doesn't want to progress, but it won't leave either. I hope it just leaves! Well tonight my weight is recorded as 181.8. This is the lowest nightly weight i've seen. It shall be interesting!

170's in...170's back out?

Okay so after all of the excitement of having my new weight loss achievement I end up having to take my daughter to the worst mall to meet up with friends. It's an uppity mall with the worst food court. I would think with all the fancy shmancy stuff they have in their stores, they'd have some healthy choices, but no! So i end up with beef and broccoli from the chinese place. I didn't eat all my rice and i tried to leave as much sauce off of the food. I am not sure of the nutrition value, but i am sure it wasn't good, but not horrible.

Then i had a smoothie, not sure if they actually use sugar. I asked the girl and she said no, but i don't believe it, i am sure they have it in their concentrate or something. I can't find anyting online about their company.

Then Jaylon asked for some doritos, and well i figured i'd treat myself to some, so DJ and I shared a bag. GREAT...

Then i get home and thinking of the fact I had a birthday party to go to so late, i wanted something in my belly, not even thinking about them having a cake. So i ate a skinny cow dessert. Then got there ordered my delicious fish, ate a salad and a baked potato (sour cream on the side with a little butter on the side). Needless to say, i don't know if i did better than what i have listed on the daily plate, or if i am much worse. I hope not worse, cause the #'s for sodium are aweful, as is the fat and all that. Fiber was almost non existent

I am quite sure i will not weigh 179 in the morning. I am not fretting, just wish i could enjoy yet another day in the 170's. Once my body regulates i'll be back in good order lol.